I've come to some conclusions.. one of which is that I'm terrible at organizing and managing my time. Part of that problem stems from my health issues which leave me never knowing when I'll be feeling up to doing certain things--my mornings generally aren't productive time and have always been alotted to getting the "machine" up and running. When I'm sick all the chores pile up and I get frustrated trying to catch up on things again. What is NORMAL? I don't know anymore.. I'm NOT normal, but I don't let it stop me from trying to fight for a normal functional life....
About 6 weeks ago I had my GI tract scoped from both ends & biopsies taken from my stomach & bowel to try to figure out why I ended up in ICU in October last fall, but I haven't yet had the follow up with my specialist to discuss the results. I AM comforted that I haven't heard from the doc yet though, which means it isn't cancer atleast. But they couldn't finish the scopes either....they said too much of my bowel was twisted... what the heck does that mean??? I had it done in a hospital.. aren't they prepared for such things...I mean, don't they have scads of footage of tubing beyond the normal length of the GI tract???? That's the only thing I remember the doc telling me after the procedure.. I had forgotten it until two weeks ago since I was drunk on fentanyl at the time (took three days to come to full coherency.. what great pain relief too!). Anyhow, that alone can explain the constant nausea I experience & GI problems when my body won't digest food or I start vomitting, but it doesn't explain the infection/bleeding & inflammation that put me in the ICU last October.. waiting to find out is like slow torture. Anything the doctor says at that follow up visit can change the direction of my life. Do I set my heart on training & setting up my personal training biz or what?? ....sigh
I'm only training three days a week right now & have been since last October when I got out of the hospital. I have managed to stabilize health wise, but really have to listen to my body. I have gained 23lbs of muscle since October.. I had trained very hard all winter thinking I would be competing this season.. And the season is here already... but not sure how I will scrape up the funds to compete. There are two shows coming up (May & June) locally that I'd like to do, but it really comes down to seeing if I can get the funds together by then.
Well, I'm just making my son lunch, so I'll sign out for now.. hopefully I will get some answers soon so that I can organize and make plans this season. I will try to post more often too, I'm terrible at keeping on top of this journal even though I know its a good therapy for me to be able to chronicle my dysfunctional functional life.. :p
Peace/Out
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