...the musings of a fem hardcore bodybuilder

What's on the horizon for 2012?

2011-12-20T12:09:00.000-05:00

Well, I'm officially off-season now..

2011 was both a frustrating & game changing year for me.. I prepped for a show in November but was unable to take the stage. That was a bit disappointing but I knew that my heart was really set on the competitions in 2012.

I started working with a coach in 2011 (Noel Fuller). I have to say that prepping with him was the most pleasant experience I've had since starting to compete in 2006. I had coaches from 2006 until 2008. From 2009 to 2010 I entered competitions without a coach, doing all my own prep, but Noel was able to bring me to a higher level of conditioning.. exactly what I've been after the past couple years. I still manage my weight training, but Noel over-sees my diet & is my Guru for problem solving and being blatantly honest I appreciate his critique or opinion.

Here's some photos of my conditioning under Noel: November 26, 2011 (This is before I was to take the stage so I'm not pumped up yet, but you can see the striations ready to pop)

Although I couldn't take the stage I feel that I'm finally at the point where I'll be confident on the Provincial & National stage.. I have applied to be considered for sponsorship with fusion bodybuilding in 2012 as well. It's my hope everything will come together for me.. I know I have the potential to be a top champion.. the only thing holding me back is finances. A sponsorship would certainly make a big difference for me.

So the plan is to do the Toronto Pro Supershow June 1, in Toronto. Then to do the CBBF Nationals in the fall (this show will be the more expensive due to location).

I'm excited about the new season. In 1 week I start my heavy training again... I have a couple months to really put on some decent mass before I start dieting again (February 1st). I'm confident I can make some big changes in my physique..

My big dream (like many) is to win my pro card in 2012... :) Stay tuned!

Peace Out!

Change of Plans for the Competitive Season

2011-09-20T11:33:00.000-04:00

I'm sad to report I am unable to follow through with the Lady OM MMXI show this December 1st for several reasons (financial included). All shows are expensive, but this one would have been terribly stressful on me financially & even with fund-raising I wouldn't be sure I would have enough money to do the event (and I really didn't want to cancel at the last minute, so I withdrew early). It's my hope I might be able to do this event next year...

Since I was already 2 months into my contest prep (financially especially), I have decided to do a local show in Ontario on November 26th 2011. I'm about 9.5 weeks out right now.. I have made major improvements to weak areas of my physique & i continue to do so. I am ecstatic to be working with Noel Fuller as a coach this season. Most of the excitement for me is seeing my conditioning brought to a higher level than I've reached before. I'm feeling great considering my training sessions have increased to 5-6 days a week. This is possible with a high quality diet & supplements (I spend a small fortune every month in the supplement store), but it's showing. I am ahead of schedule with fat-loss, but am dealing with water retention. This isn't an issue yet except aesthetically.. near the show this is where Noel's expertise will come into play.

I'm excited to be doing this local show with friends and fellow-competitors. I don't believe competitors should be cut-throat. There is enough room for all of us on stage, and honestly my heart is more determined to achieve personal goals in my conditioning than to "win". I have to adopt this attitude as I cherish the camaraderie amongst my fellow athletes.

Here are some quick progress pictures of me at 10 weeks out & 148lbs:

I will post the show details shortly.. Still waiting for the event details on the website to be made available.

I'm a little rushed for time today (it's leg training day)--so i'll cut this update short.. I'll post soon. Stay healthy and happy... Remember, nothing worthwhile is instant, it requires determination, commitment, consistency and passion.... Whatever you do, do with your whole heart. Have a wonderful, productive day! :)

Invitation :))

2011-08-26T15:21:00.006-04:00

It's been quite a while since I've posted.. I supposed I've been trying to find direction.

My last competition was the CBBF Nationals last August 2010. I didn't have plans to compete this year but was offered an amazing opportunity to do a "new" kind of show pioneered by an Italian photographer I really want to work with (Oberdan Mancini). The following is the event description:

Teatro "Benedetto XIII" - Università degli Studi di Camerino 1th december 2011, Camerino (MC).   

Lady OM MMXI is the first Body-building competition where the spectator will express an opinion and the athlete's audience will be as great as the whole world.   Female bodybuilding athletes from all around the world will defy each other to conquer the Lady OM MMXI title.

12 athletes frOM 12 different nations, in Representative of all the continents.  

Thanks to live web broadcast and HD technology, the viewer will enjoy an outstanding video quality, an interactive direction and the unique chance to follow his favorite athlete in the backstage too. The viewer is always seeking the best one.   The athlete knows that there is no victory if the audience is not conquered.

The bodybuilder will finally do her months of hard preparation justice.   The first contest in the world conceived in HD, spread via web and personally edited by Mister OM.  At last bodybuilding becomes 2.0 

Come and be part of the jury yourself!!!

12 Female bodybuilding athletes from all around the world will defy each other to conquer the Lady OM MMXI title.

LADY OM MMXI is not simply a contest.
It's an exciting show that wants to share with the world the love for bodybuilding.

Lady OM MMXI is the first bodybuilding event where the spectator (from every corner of the planet) becomes main character, sitting in the panel!
It' s not a competition, but an enthralling show based on a thrilling action.
An entertaining schedule that allow the viewer to play a role himself and keep the athletes fighting for the victory till the end!

...If the world wants its CHAMPION, it has to be the WORLD to elect it! Come and be part of the jury yourself.

It will be an amazing event!!! More details will be released shortly including the other participants.

Sign up to see the event LIVE December 1st & be eligible to participating in choosing the winner of the "Lady OM MMXI" title

Join the "Lady OM MMXI" group on facebook

I'm very excited about this show.. I'm training harder than ever to make sure I'm at my all-time best seeing I'm the only Canadian contender. I've hired an amazing coach (Noel Fuller of Portland Oregon) to help me with my prep and make sure i'm dialed in perfectly.

Feel free to follow my show prep & progress here & on my facebook fanpage. I really appreciate the encouragement of family, friends & fans.. and I don't want to disappoint!!

I will post more soon. Peace!

once again...i'm 6 days out from competition

2010-08-22T20:30:00.003-04:00

Well, i'm 6 days out from the 2010 CBBF Nationals in toronto (CNE grounds). I don't think i've ever trained or prepped so hard for a show.. mind u i haven't really stopped dieting or training since the provincial show last June 19th--but i'm much more depleted in fat stores this time & have made some minor changes to my prep to come in drier & tighter.

I'm looking forward to this show--i've determined that i am really going to enjoy the whole experience (i want to enjoy the whole weekend in toronto, including the after-party). I believe this is going to be a fantastic show over-all. I'm entering in the heavyweight-masters--should weigh in around atleast 145lbs. Should be an interesting week, but grocery shopping is done, all reservations are made & i've started packing. Hope to take alot of photos: if you get a chance to attend this show i'm sure it will be an experience to remember! :))

9 Days out from competition!!

2010-06-10T08:19:00.007-04:00

I'm only 9 days out from my next show... how can time be flying by SO fast???

Well, I've left nothing to chance this year. This will be my third time doing the Ontario (National Qualfiers).. and I want first place. I dieted down really early so I wouldn't be stressed out physically or emotionally.. I am very pleased with the results.

My training sessions have been brutal, really pushed myself to correct my weaknesses. All that's left now is my final week of dietary prep & intense/long posing sessions to give me my polish. I don't believe I've ever looked this good, this big and this cut.

I weighed in at 150.5lbs two days ago at the gym, but haven't taken recent measurements, but as of mid May, my measurements (taken unflexed/unpumped) were as follows:

40.00" Chest
28.00" Waist
36.00" Hips
24.00" Thighs
14.25" Biceps
14.75" Calves

It's possible that I've increased in size since mid-may.. I did add an extra 4-5lbs of muscle mass since then so I will have to do measurements again soon.

I've had very little problem dieting. I did improve the quality of my diet this year (uggghhh sooo expensive to eat very well). & I also changed my training regimine. Due to my health issues & the inevitable stress caused from overtraining I found that training 3-4 days a week worked best for ne. Although those training sessions are hard and long.. my body type (muscular/endurance athlete) tends to cope well with this type of training. I would train whole body each session, but specialize in one or two bodyparts that day...giving them my best energy & hitting them hard. I stopped doing cardio about a month out from the show but will add that back in the last week as a "shock" to help me super shred.. the body seems to adapt to anything you do routinely, so it's always good to save some shock tactics just in case.

When Paul Luis first took me under his wing to help me prep for my first show he had always said "work smarter, not harder..." I hear ya Paul. The body can't achieve the optimum results while under stress.. I let my diet do a good portion of the work so I don't have to train 5-7 days a week. Mind you, on days off the gym, I still do some training at home, especially posing practice which I have to say is extremely important. It doesn't matter how awesum your body is at a show if you can't properly present it...

Here are a couple photos from posing practice (taken about 3 weeks out)

These photos are NOTHING compared to what I will look like on stage!! I'm very excited. Feel I have my peak plan perfected this year.

I will have tons of photos & videos from the show.. hope to be shooting the whole weekend of the show (Milky Whey Classic Ontario {Bodybuilding, Figure & Fitness} Championships, June 19th, 2010 --550 Wellington St. London, Ontario CANADA). This is a National Qualifier for the CBBF Nationals in Toronto on August 28th 2010. Both should be amazing shows if you can make it out.

I hope to post more updates as the show approaches & even the weekend of the show from my hotel room. Hope to have the website up and running shortly after the show also.. so far finally have a main page up (http://www.hardcorebody.ca/About.html). Check back often.. I will be posting the best of my photos & videos on the site...I'm finding that the videos I post to youtube are being ripped and uploaded to other websites without my permission (for someone else's profit or advantage)..It's simply not fair seeing they are my property & I labor hours to make them and upload them free of charge. So I apologize to fans/friends who can't access my newer media because of a handful of manipulative thieves.

Well gotta cut this short.. have posing practice to do this morning :) Have a great day!

Peace - Out

4 weeks out from Ontarios!!

2010-05-23T14:55:00.003-04:00

Getting very excited... I'm only 4 weeks out from the Ontarios.. (National Qualifier, London Ontario, June 19th). It should be a very exciting weekend.. I'm heading to the weigh in Friday night & coming home sum time on Sunday so far as I know.. Will be a very busy weekend for me...

Hope to do a great deal of photo/video that weekend too, so it will be non-stop, but I'm ready for it.

Have managed to keep my health issues in check.. and even working around a couple of lingering injuries from months of heavy/intense training, but almost totally healed (R Rotator & L Ham). Training is going very well & i'm so lean at this point... I should look amazing in 4 weeks. Last time I stepped on stage I wasn't this lean..so I'm going to drop as much bodyfat as possible.

I've planned my peak week program.. and I'm glad in a way that I had last year off from competing.. It gave me time to familiarize myself with the whole peaking/prepping process (I did alot of photoshoots).. I also practiced posing continually, often for a few hours at a time ..nonstop! So I hope I have what it takes to bring home the hardware.. I want to win this year.

I think if I place first I might consider the Nationals this year since they are in Toronto... I know that will be a very competitive show, but I'd be thrilled to even be able to stand on stage in such a show beside Canada's best.

It looks like I will probably need bowel surgery.. My bowel is so badly twisted that it's strictured & the whole problem last October was that it obstructed.. So I'm working around the issue right now, I am going to compete anyway.. I've been dealing with it for so many years now, why should I put my life on hold?? All the hard work for the competitive season is already DONE, and it's an excellent distraction from the problem, symptoms & my nervousness about the up & coming surgery (OK, i'm truly terrified).

I still don't have a sponsor or endorsements.. but I could really use SOMETHING, but i just haven't had the energy to take the initiative so far (been very tired & have so much to handle at the moment).. i can't believe how much my diet is costing.. not to mention that the fees to even step on stage have all gone up. Competing is expensive.. and my income has been frustrated by my health issues. But my bodybuilding lifestyle has been the key to my improved health & functionality.. I think the expense of healthy nutrition is warranted.. far more effective at improving health and preventing future health issues. My body simply DEMANDS healthy food now and lots of it!! (I wouldn't want to tell you how much i eat in a day LOL)

Just starting to tan now... getting bronzed so more photos/video will be taken these last four weeks. I will do my best.. It's hard being both the subject & the photographer/videographer. But i will regret it if i don't take as many pictures as i can.

Well, thought it was time for an update.. I will keep you posted. I plan on bringing my video camera, still camera, cell phone & laptop all with me to the show.. so maybe i can keep a journal of sorts. (yes I know I need to make more frequent entries--I'm trying).

If you get a chance, come out to see the show, the Provincial show is always a big deal and a great time!

Peace Out for now :))

A long overdue update....

2010-04-08T15:41:00.004-04:00

Yes, it's a long overdue update..

I've come to some conclusions.. one of which is that I'm terrible at organizing and managing my time. Part of that problem stems from my health issues which leave me never knowing when I'll be feeling up to doing certain things--my mornings generally aren't productive time and have always been alotted to getting the "machine" up and running. When I'm sick all the chores pile up and I get frustrated trying to catch up on things again. What is NORMAL? I don't know anymore.. I'm NOT normal, but I don't let it stop me from trying to fight for a normal functional life....

About 6 weeks ago I had my GI tract scoped from both ends & biopsies taken from my stomach & bowel to try to figure out why I ended up in ICU in October last fall, but I haven't yet had the follow up with my specialist to discuss the results. I AM comforted that I haven't heard from the doc yet though, which means it isn't cancer atleast. But they couldn't finish the scopes either....they said too much of my bowel was twisted... what the heck does that mean??? I had it done in a hospital.. aren't they prepared for such things...I mean, don't they have scads of footage of tubing beyond the normal length of the GI tract???? That's the only thing I remember the doc telling me after the procedure.. I had forgotten it until two weeks ago since I was drunk on fentanyl at the time (took three days to come to full coherency.. what great pain relief too!). Anyhow, that alone can explain the constant nausea I experience & GI problems when my body won't digest food or I start vomitting, but it doesn't explain the infection/bleeding & inflammation that put me in the ICU last October.. waiting to find out is like slow torture. Anything the doctor says at that follow up visit can change the direction of my life. Do I set my heart on training & setting up my personal training biz or what?? ....sigh

I'm only training three days a week right now & have been since last October when I got out of the hospital. I have managed to stabilize health wise, but really have to listen to my body. I have gained 23lbs of muscle since October.. I had trained very hard all winter thinking I would be competing this season.. And the season is here already... but not sure how I will scrape up the funds to compete. There are two shows coming up (May & June) locally that I'd like to do, but it really comes down to seeing if I can get the funds together by then.

Well, I'm just making my son lunch, so I'll sign out for now.. hopefully I will get some answers soon so that I can organize and make plans this season. I will try to post more often too, I'm terrible at keeping on top of this journal even though I know its a good therapy for me to be able to chronicle my dysfunctional functional life.. :p

Peace/Out

Long time since my last entry...

2009-12-16T08:43:00.003-05:00

Well, it's been a while since I last made an entry.. it's been a crazy few months. Back in October I found myself in the hospital, in intensive care for 10 days... My whole bowel was inflamed, infected & hemorrhaging. I was terrified when they prepped me for major emergency surgery the first night.. thank GOD I didn't have to have it. This all happened while I was up north visiting my father over thanksgiving weekend (Canada's was in mid-october). While in intensive care for those 10 days, I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything (my only source of fluids were through two IV's). I lost some muscle mass, but this is generally my pattern...I gain awesum size then I get sick and lose some of it...it's frustrating, but I have to remember that my objective is to improve my health FIRST.. sports performance & aesthetics are SECONDARY.

It's mid December now.. I'm feeling better, back to my training, but I'm still anxiously waiting for tests to sort out the issues that caused the bleeding/hospitalization back in October. The specialist said it was too dangerous to do the 2 scopes/biopsy that I need.. so I'm booked to have those procedures done in early March. It was a rather slow recovery, but I find I'm more careful to be sure I get enough sleep, eat healthy, etc.

I am doing more personal training now.. (actually I'm training my sister now--she is doing exceptionally well with her weight loss: she's lost 16lbs to date {in 33 days} --eating a healthy clean diet and training with me three times a week.)

I generally try to avoid taking on too much during the competitive season in terms of clientele or obligations--especially in light of my health issues. Training for shows is extremely stressful, not only physically but emotionally and mentally too. Although I didn't get a chance to compete in 2009, I had trained & kept lean just in case my circumstances would allow me to change my plans last minute. I lost my qualification for the Nationals & have to requalify in 2010.. but it isn't a big deal. The provincial level show isn't the expensive one.. (the National competition was in Montreal in 2008 & Vancouver in 2009), far out of my reach financially. I hope to be in a better position financially in 2010 so that I can compete if and when I want to.

Since I got out of the hospital (October 20, 2009), I'v managed to add 10lbs of lean muscle mass.. working more has enabled me to eat better, raise my protein intake & buy my supplements. I did my income tax refund early this year.. guess where I spent it?? (the supplement store LOL). I rely on protein powder alot, especially when my digestive system is acting up and solid food nauseates me. I am continuing to take Tyler Parkin's "Parkonite" product as well as some basic supplements to keep my immune system fortified & my liver detoxified.

I hope to keep on top of this journal & I'm planning on getting some work done to FINALLY get www.hardcorebody.ca up and running one way or other. I'm a little rusty in my webdesign & scripting abilities... perhaps I will use a templated site like "sitecube" if I can't manage to figure things out soon.. so wish I could hire a website designer.. there's way too much on my plate as is.. even just with personal training, my training, the photo/video shoots/processing, promotion, etc. I can't wait till I can hire someone. I feel like I'm always working, but with so much to do, I never get anything done QUICKLY. lol

Well, I suppose that's enough for now.. I have to packup for the gym shortly.. I'll be there for a good part of the day today, so I have to pack a lunch, etc.

Today I'm smiling.. cuz I feel good & I know through experience that things could be much much worse! :)) Off to train hard.. will post new photos & video soon.. PEACE OUT

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Down but not "Out"

2009-07-31T23:35:00.002-04:00

I have been feeling nauseated the past few days & last night it became apparent that my ear infection is having a full blown flareup.. I don't believe I'm stressed physically, but I suppose I do have alot on my mind.. Took an amazing amount of Photos & Videos the past week or two.. still have to process it all.

So I'm laying low trying to recuperate.. but u kno me.. can't just lay around. The minute I feel a bit better, I'm up & either capturing new footage or working on it, the photos or the website. I've worked solo for so long in terms of video/photos that I'm finding it quite an adjustment to work with Horst (www.blindeyephotography.ca).. his website, like mine isn't up yet, but coming soon...

I have made it a point to increase my dosage of silicate (thankyou Ty) & I hope to try some oil of oregano this weekend & see if it helps battle this resident infection (that never seems to completely leave).. I don't kno how much nicer I can be to myself.. I would do anything to feel better if I knew what else to do. But I have to remember how sick I used to be.. that makes me greatful to have some days that I forget I'm dealing with health issues..

Sam is with his dad for the weekend.. I hope he has fun.. it's been kind of a downer with the continual damp cool weather & continual storms.. not a whole lot to do outside in that weather. But he likes spending time on the computer (he's getting really good at animation) & keeps busy.. I'd rather he were doing that than other things :)) He has been doing a little more training with me & eatting much healthier. I am very happy about that.

I hope to get lots of work done this weekend in terms of video/photo processing & website work.. I have a couple of websites to work on... so I have to get back into it. I'll be much more enthusiastic once this head pain/congestion settles down a bit.. If I move too much or pump weights too intensely it really hurts--it's a drag--I'm dying for a good workout.. But I have my flexing/posing.. that keeps me toned and hard when I can't hit the weights. I have been stepping up the training but still not training at the gym as often as I'd like.. There's no point really until I can increase my protein intake. Everything in due time I guess.. it all comes down to finances.

Can't wait for the day when I don't have to budget everything.. including food. LOL

I'll post more later this weekend God willing.. It's almost midnight.. I think I'll get a good nights rest & see if I can't get a good start on the work tomorrow.

Nite all. xo

Not Sure....(But Hopeful!! :)

2009-07-29T01:45:00.002-04:00

Well, it's been a crazy week.. The photo shoot with Blindeye Photography went well. Horst was great to work with.. he ended up taking sum 500+ shots! I was very pleased with them & think it can only get better once we learn to work together better. We shoot again tomorrow. With the weather being miserable now for weeks (thunderstorms, rain, cooler).. we may have to shoot inside (a Training Shoot at one of my gyms). He is going to take some video footage as well as still shots. I'm excited about this... Up until now all my video has been shot by me (with a boring fixed perspective on the tripod).. no panning or zooming.. This will be much more dynamic & I won't have to continually stare at the camera viewfinder to check lighting, position & pose. I can actually concentrate fully on what I'm doing!!! Ok, it doesn't take much to make me happy.. LOL

I've got the first two initial pages of www.harcorebody.ca online.. But I have lots of tedious photo/video processing work to do yet in order to make a structured/formatted & organized media library..

I have to give it some thought--file quality, continuity & size are all so important to the look and functionality of the site (Boy do I HATE being a perfectionist some times.. it's hard to get anything done QUICKLY..LOL).

I have so many ideas that have potential. I have waaayyy to many things to do in any one given day. In fact, I'm still up working (it's 1:29am as I type this.. and yes, I'm heading to bed as soon as this is published).

This is the first summer since 2005 that I haven't been planning for sure to do a show.. It's strange.. I feel lost in a way being "uncertain". I think I kind of enjoy the military discipline & drive being engaged.. I think it's a challenge that I can't resist.. I love being able to over-rule what my body WANTS.

I'm trying a bit of a fat load instead of a carb load tonight.. seems to be working amazingly well. I also did 40minutes of cardio today & went tanning.. I prefer to get natural sunlight, but the weather has just been crap. I hope it turns around soon... summer is half over!

This summer Sam's been really changing.. he's truly a fine young man--I am so blessed. He's grown an inch since summer began.. & he's starting to train with me & eat healthy clean foods with me. It's very expensive, but it's not just a bodybuilding/fitness thing----IT'S A HEALTH & WELLNESS THING. :))

My biggest cheat this week was two yoghurt cones.. (not at once LOL).. only 2g of fat each.. but a cheat is a cheat.. when I eat foods like that it shows the next day.. atleast I'm lean enough that I can "fix" it in two days by just keeping my diet in check. Even if I don't compete in September.. getting & staying ripped isn't a "waste".. It's experience in refining my show prep & it also enables me to take the best photo/video possible while the weather is warm.

I hope to get in as many photo & video shoots as I can with Horst (Blindeye Photography) while it is nice enough. We will have to get creative.. We both want to keep the material fresh...not always doing the same thing with a different outfit on in each video or photoshoot. LOL It would be nice to have my next show professionally documented with me as the main subject. I'd like to show how I prep..what my life & routine are like as I get ready for a show.

I think I've broached every major thought process on my mind tonight.. I need to have one more rice cake with peanut butter before bed..

Goodnight :))

Confirmation and Contemplation

2009-07-21T12:39:00.003-04:00

Seems yesterday every eye was on me at the gym.. everywhere I went I was centered out.. I guess that's the best feedback--the best way to kno you are in top shape. These people see me regularly in the gym, but when they approach you and start raving on your conditioning.. you kno you are definitely reaching top form. Over and over I'm asked..."so when is your next show"? When I tell them "I'm not sure I'm competing at all this year", they are always surprised.

It never ceases to amaze me...lately I'm a spectacle everywhere I go. It's not like I can go anywhere without being asked if I compete or if do personal training. A simple trip to the grocery store can double or triple in the amount of time it takes when people solicit your responses to their curiosities. I'v become increasingly aware of the phenomenon called "celebrity".. and I realize I'v not changed, it's other people's perspective of me that has changed. While I don't always enjoy all the attention, I DO enjoy being able to share my story and motivate/encourage people with it.. after all (with my health history)---if I can do it, anyone can. No one can believe that I used to be so sick and over 200lb (and barely functional or mobile).

That's when I kno that this is what I'm supposed to be doing: inspiring & helping people find health and wholeness on all levels (body, mind and spirit). I don't think any of us are whole until we are content with ourselves physically. I tell people that they need to consider nutrition and exercise as medicine--and that it's much better to embrace it before they actually get sick. So in response to the "I don't have time 'excuse'"...I tell them "you will have all the time in the world when you get really ill". When I started back training it was a very rough road for me.. I didn't have help or finances and I was very ill. But not everyone has that kind of stubbornness that they can refuse to give up. I still deal with my health issues and I suppose my health management is very good motivation for me--I changed my whole life in order to feel better physically (and thus mentally/emotionally). I am terrified of getting that sick again. But it was a journey that took 10+ years.

I was at the gym training yesterday.. and talking to a young woman who was quite frustrated with her inability to get her weight under control I saw her come to life with encouragement and the sharing of my experiences.. there were tears in her eyes at the anguish she was experiencing over it.. how can I not help?? I may not make alot of money doing this.. but that's not what it's about either..

Well, I am ripping up for a photoshoot Thursday with a local photographer.. I realize that chemistry is important to working together and I think this will be a good shoot. I'm toughing out the queasy spells as I tighten up my diet to look my best. I often wonder if anyone else has the difficulties that I do with nausea/vomitting in this sport. Bodybuilding is an extreme sport--it's about controlling this vessel (the body can only do what the mind dictates.. it's a matter of will-power and discipline). The battle is won or lost in the mind for the most part--and that's true in general in any facet of life. I consider the demands of my body akin to those of a terrorist.. and I don't negotiate with terrorists.. LOL

So I am going to choke down some chicken and sweet potato for breakfast and pray it stays down. I still have to top off my suntan & choose a few outfits for the shoot. The next couple days I won't be training so that the water can drain off my body as the muscles recuperate. If anything I'll do a bit of cardio each day & some flexing/posing until after the shoot.

Then I have to decide about the Ontario Naturals (in Hamilton) September 19th... It's hard to seriously train and prep for a show if you can't decide for sure if you are going to enter. I'v never done a "natural" show yet, but I feel that's the venue for me. I can't compete in the non-drug tested shows at the level I'm at (Nationals), due to the fact that steroid use is so pervasive and I simply can't play that game with my health issues.

I guess I have to decide soon what I'm doing... there's only two months till the show.. and that's not alot of time to prep really.. especially with limited resources.

Hoping to get more work done on the website today.. so much to do all the time--and the day is never long enough (nor do I ever seem to have enough energy to do everything that is "on my list").

:)

First Impressions? Or First confessions?? LOL

2009-07-18T00:17:00.000-04:00

I suppose it's about time I setup a blog--I have been thinking about it for a long time..but it's still a bit of an experiment for me.. Seems like there are sooo many things to update these days.. so many places to be all while sitting in front of the computer screen. But I hear that Twitter & blogs can be used side by side--so thought I'd give it a chance.

I don't really know where to start.. I'm going to forget there's an audience and just ramble on as though I'm writing my thoughts in a journal---sound OK??

...Just this moment I had a startling realization!! I feel like I'm naked online (Ok guys.. settle down--I don't mean literally--and No, I don't have any naked pictures or video online LOL).. BUT, between having my bodybuilding video on youtube and sharing my life/thoughts so openly on facebook, twitter and now here--I realize someone can actually get to know me pretty good online.. How scary is that?? lol

It's Friday & Sam just went to his dad's for the weekend.. I'm going to work on video, photos & the website tonight www(dot)hardcorebody.ca--I don't even have a personalized index page up yet... so no point in checking it out yet.. I'll post here as soon as I get something online. The thing is I am so meticulous about detail--a perfectionist I guess.. And being an artist/creative type.. well, just any old design won't do.

At present, I'm doing my own photos, video (all post-processing work), my website design/admin & anything else that is involved in trying to launch a bodybuilding (small) enterprise.. lol I just would be happy making a living coaching/training athletes and healthy-lifestyle-seekers alike (weight/cardiovascular training & nutrition)--But it's more than that.. To get healthy & change my body I had to CHANGE my LIFESTYLE. I'd like to show people how to actually implement what it takes to make the lifestyle functional--cuz bodybuilders eat healthy and often.. and even if some don't want to bodybuild.. it's still necessary to eat small frequent meals through the day rather than 2-3 large ones (for health reasons as well as to lose weight).

I have to eat and then get some work done.. might upload a new clip to youtube tonight or tomorrow.. see how things go. Goodnight :)